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Showing posts with label painting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label painting. Show all posts

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Top 7 tips: What to do when you're feeling blue.

Sometimes in life, you feel a little bit sad. Sometimes you even feel a lot sad.

It's not nice when you feel sad. And I don't know what to do sometimes to cheer myself up!

So I thought I'd make a list of the top 7 Fox-rated things to do to cheer you up when you're feeling blue...

1. Have a cup of tea
The first step to feeling better is the essential ingredient of tea. I'm sure a scientist somewhere at some-point, really frustrated with his overly frothy test tube, had a sip of tea and thought: "By george! Eureka! My goodness! That's it!" And decided that a hot tea is the bestest for sorting you out.
So there you go. Scientifically proven.


2. Smile at yourself in a mirror
We didn't have mirrors in the wild, so when I came across one here I found it pretty weird in general. But if you pull faces at yourself in there, it looks so strange it just might make you smile!


3. Eat lots of cake (Without your Laura looking)
Laura says I shouldn't eat lots of cake because it's bad for me. BUT I think if you're sad, a top tip is to eat lots and lots and lots and LOTS of it until you feel very satisfied and a maybe a bit queasy. Then you can focus on the tastiness and queasiness instead of your sadness!
(But maybe run around the garden a few times and stock up on broccoli when you're feeling better).


4. Eat lots of biscuits (Without your Laura looking)
You really can't go wrong with eating!


5. Make best friends with your duvet
There's nothing like wrapping yourself up in your duvet until you look like a sausage roll. Then you could either pretend you actually ARE a sausage roll, and think about the taxing life of flaky pastry to distract you, or you could pretend your duvet is a big monster trying to eat you and the people of the world, but you fight it off to save the day and become a hero! Yay!


6. Dress your hoover up in big shoes, a floppy hat and a moustache until it no longer resembles a hoover
I really really really really REALLY don't like hoovers. And I don't want it sat there staring at me, looking like a hoover, when I feel sad. It would just make me feel even MORE sad. So you need to be very brave, and carefully sneak around the back of your local hoover (possibly dressed in an army or ninja-style fashion for full sneakiness) and cunningly disguise it so it is no longer a threat.


7. A HUG
Sometimes what you need more than anything in the whole world is a big old cuddle! So spread those arms, put down your tea, wipe off the cake crumbs, hop over in your duvet, give me a smile, and c'meeeeeerrrreeee....



GIVE US A CUDDLE!



Lotsa love,

Fox







Thursday, 18 July 2013

The Uni Adventures: Washing machines

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Yup, that's right, I've never used a washing machine before. To be fair, I think I have a good reason - being a fox and all. I mean, we never used to wash clothes in the wild. Actually, we didn't even have clothes. Don't worry though, we have these natural fur coats to keep us cosy and covered up.

But when I went to live with Laura, over time I got given some stuff like a coat, scarf, gloves, PJs, and a teddy. So eventually the time came when they needed freshening up...

"Laura! Laura! Laura!" I called, sprawled out in my basket.

There was a doomp, doomp, doomp sound through the wall as someone thudded downstairs and pushed through the door, clutching three mugs and a bottle of milk.

"What is it, Fox?" Laura said, trying to balance the things in her hands.

"My clothes need washing - especially teddy, he's gotten a little bit muddy."

"How did he get muddy?" She sighed, leaning against the door.

"We were playing stuck in the mud." I said innocently.

"Well," She said, coming in and sitting on the bed, "I think it's time you learnt how to do this yourself. Do you remember what I taught you?"

I thought back to a day before we left, sat in front of the machine and listening to the instructions, and sketchily remembered:

1. Put clothes in the big bucket thing
2. Put in the soapy stuff
3. Press a button
4. Wait a bit
5. Get the clothes out.

Simple enough. Besides the fact I put too much soap in and didn't shut the door, so we came home to find a room full of water and bubbles. I tried suggesting we kept it that way, as like an indoor pond, but that didn't go down very well.

"Um, yeah..." I said, hopping onto all fours and grinning,  "...Yeah. Yeah! Yep. No worries. None at all. I'll sort it out!"

I threw my stuff in a bag and plodded off out the house, across the green and over to a building in the street opposite. To keep me company, I had put my headphones on and was listening to some music... And let me tell you, there's no feeling better than an automatic door opening for you whilst listening to a dramatic number from a musical!

'Why yes, washing machines,' I thought, gliding through the self-opening doors, "Fox is here. Fox has arrived. And yes..."

I clutched my bag of clothes and gave a far off look into the distance, singing out the first chorus of the song... "I dreamed a dream in time gone byyyyy... When hope was hiiiiigh..."

With a deep intake of breath and a dramatic sigh, I waltzed myself around the room, drifting in and out of tune and singing the gentle, emotional lines as they twinkled in my headphones: "There was no ransom to be paid, no song unsung, no grape juice untaaaa-sted..."

Until BOOOOM! The drums hit, and the dramatic last chorus hits, full of emotion!

I threw my clothes up into the air and fell to my knees. Throwing my head back, I howled with feeling in the loudest voice I could ever muster: "AND STILL I DREAM HE'LL COME TO MEEEEEEEEEEE! THAT WE WILL LIVE THE YEARS TOGETHERRRRR!"

I was so wrapped up in my performance, I hardly noticed the squeaking of the door. I leapt on top of a washing machine, grabbing the bottle of fabric softener to use as a microphone and belting out the last few notes: "SO DIFFERENT NOW FROM WHAT IT SEEEEEEEEMED, NOW LIFE HAS---"

"Um... Fox?" A voice cut through.

I jolted around to see a bemused looking Laura standing at the door, eyeing the dirty washing that was spread over the floor like a patchwork carpet.

"I.. er... I was just..." I stammered, clutching the fabric softener with the most innocent expression I could muster. "Just..."

Her expression wobbled and wibbled until out crashed a big, hearty: "AHAHAHAHAHA!"

I sniffed. "Well, you could at least be subtle about it. Not even a clap?"

She cleared her throat and marched over to me. With a grin she took hold of my paws and danced with me around the room, singing out: "We dreamed a dream of fresh laundryyyyyyy!"  tangoing us through socks and duffle-coats until we were dizzy.

Washing machines turned out to be quite good fun after all! I might clean more often...





Wednesday, 15 August 2012

An extra masculine moment... Laura explains painting nails.

That is, the nails on your hand, not the wall. Humans are so confusing! There are so many words that are the same, but mean a zillion different things. Us animals just call them claws. Claw on your hand, nail in the wall. That's how it goes.
(Although, we weren't aware of nails in the woods of course... we used to use blue-tac to put our paintings up.)

So yes, nails.
Very peculiar, because Laura tells me that people paint their nails to make them look nice.
We were in town the other day and as I brought a packet of grapes, the cashier handed over my receipt and I just gawped at her hand.

"Why are her fingers blue?", I pondered aloud, and then, looking up at her with concern: "Are you cold? There are blankets on Isle 3."

But no, this is a very regular thing, apparently.
So, when we got home, Laura and her person-friend sat me down and explained.

"You see, it makes hands look nicer."
"But what's the point of that? They're quite nice as it is."
"I guess they're kind of creepy in a way... All spindly and stuff."

This discussion continued for about 20 minutes, on why people started doing this, until it was decided that they'd do a live display.

Laura's person-friend brought out a box of a rainbow of coloured varnishes, and spread out her fingers. Laura sat me on her lap, and gripped my paw with her hand as I held onto a varnish. Then, she guided me along her person-friend's nails, giving them the design of some handsome devil's beautiful chops...

.... ME!

Ironically, this was Laura's first attempt at painting nails too, so it took a very very very very long time for us to keep inside the lines, but eventually we got there.

We sat back and admired our handiwork.

"Well, that was..." I started
"Fun?" Laura asked.
"Uhm..." I thought, "Nope, no, I'm sorry. It's still bizarre."

Unfortunately our first attempt of varnishing ended up about a centimeter thick on Laura's person-friend's poor nails... So we had to resort to a hairdryer to dry them, and then discovered this was a bad idea when they trickled down her fingers in a Hulk kinda fashion.

After a busy hour, I decided to do something a little less feminine, so I headed downstairs and readied the teapot for a good brew and studied my paw, wandering if a nice shade of blue would go with orange fur...


Monday, 30 July 2012

A once in a lifetime event... I smashed my teapot. No, just kidding, its... THE OLYMPICS!





Theeeeee oooollllllyyyyymmmmmmpiiiccccsssss areeeee heeeerrrreeeee!
OLLLYYYMMPIIICCCSSS!
Right here! In Britain! THE OLYMPICS!! In our very own London!
How amazing is that? Right here. Here!
The Olympics.
A "once in a lifetime event!"
THE OLYMPICS!

...

Um, just bear with me a minute...

"Laura, what are the Olympics?"
*

Ah, okay, okay I'm all caught up; The whole world clubbing together every 4 years for loads of sporting events, coming to Britain for the only time we may be around to see it... That really is quite exciting! Wowee!

This is all making a lot more sense now.

A month or so ago the Olympic Torch, on its journey from Greece, actually passed through our little town! Quite a momentous occasion for little St. Ives! The only problem was how early it was coming through, but on the upside it was being lit at the bottom of our road, so we could practically fall back into bed.

I was sleeping peacefully at the foot of Laura's bed when the alarm went crazy at half 6. We dragged ourselves out of bed and up to the end of the road, where we knocked on Laura's relative Nicky's house - who lives just in front of where the torch would be. Laura's Italian relatives were also there, and we had a wonderful breakfast together of tea and croissants, a rather lovely affair.

By the time the torch arrived it was drizzling with rain, so we grabbed our umbrellas and headed out onto the road. A parade of lit up buses floated past, blaring out various radio stations, closely followed by some police motorcyclists, and then, the 'awaited' moment.

The streets were absolutely littered with people! It was incredible, and very patriotic. Everywhere was again decorated with Union Flag bunting and Olympic flags (which I thought were just nifty art deco), and crowds gathered as the bus of Olympic Torch bearers arrived.

Now, we stood on the road and saw the audience cluttering around one area, and wandered: 'Hmm, I wonder what they're doing?' And carried on standing there with other confused people for a further 10 minutes before we realised, 'Oh, hang on, they're lighting the torch!'

We scuttled over and saw something like this:


The lighting of the Olympic Torch on it's travels through our humble little town


Then, off he ran, and that was it. The streets emptied; some people took the 2 minute walk into town where shops had opened early and the Corn Exchange was offering breakfast, and our little group headed back to the house.

I stood with Laura, and gave her a look.
"Wasn't that exciting?" She said with a grin.
"Was that it?"
"Yup."
"A man with a stick."
"Well, a burning stick."
"A stick."
"A golden, burning stick."
"With holes in it, isn't that a fire risk?"
"I think they have it figured out. C'mon Fox, it came alllllll the way from Greece!"
"Oh, that's pretty impressive!"
"Yep. They lit it from the sun using a parabolic mirror."
"Pardon?"
"Parabolic. Yup. I don't know either. But it sounds kinda impressive."

"So he runs to London now?"
"Nope, to the end of the road, to hand it to the next person. It's a relay."
"Oh, well thats dissappointing. Then what?"
"When it gets to London, they use it to light a big flame to symbolise the games."

It was about 7 or 8 in the morning, I had been involuntarily awake for 1 or 2 hours, and I had to leave my tea to come out and watch a man run with a stick. I thought of the mug of re-heated warmth glowing within the house, and just decided to ask about the whole 'games' and 'big flame' thing later.

These humans, so peculiar.
*

So the Games started on Friday night, with the opening ceremony. We all sat in the lounge to watch it in anticipation.

 I wasn't particularly sure what to expect. When they showed the stadium full of grass, hills, floating clouds, flowers, sheep, and a cottage in the centre with a smoking chimney, I must admit I wandered what on Earth we were watching. But actually, it turned out to be absolutely incredible.

Travelling through the history of Britain through visualness, it was remarkably well done. The grass was rolled away, and towering chimneys soared through blackened ground to symbolise the industrial revolution; The actors and actresses mining away, when a flurry of gold travels through the curving line they mine to form a ring. Four other rings hang above, and they unite to form the Olympic rings.

That, to the Great Ormond Street Hospital and NHS tribute, with lit up beds forming shapes, and then surrounded by terrifying nightmares. Progressing on to a hilarious act of Mr. Bean joining with 'Chariots of Fire', and the Queen jumping from a plane with James Bond. Then, on to the different eras of music by telling a cyber love story. At last, the teams from each country come through to the beat of drums.

I was doing very well, bearing in mind it only started at my bedtime (9pm), but I fell asleep when the alphabetical order reached the countries beginning with 'T', and awoke to people with wings flying around on bikes. Very bizarre.

Then, that footballing person David Beckham came through fireworks on a lit up boat, handed the holey fire stick to a famous Olympian, who ran through to the stadium and handed it to a young hopeful. Joined by a few other hopefuls, they ran through the stadium full of the teams and cheering fans with the torch in it's last stretch of the relay from Greece; flags from each country waving on a hill as they approached the cauldron.

Made of copper petals, one carried by each country as they entered, they held the flame against it and it caught, travelling amongst the copper. The petals lifted and met together, producing an incredible symbol of unity, and the most beautiful, (and only) representation of the cauldron I have ever seen.

To finish, the Queen opens the games.

I sat there, blinking rapidly, quite astonished.

It was like an incredibly bizarre dream that you tell people about, and they give you a look as if to say: 'Are you insane?'

But actually, I happen to love the quirky, confusing and astonishing; and found the whole thing pretty amazing.

I have been watching a few sports since, and am rather a fan of the diving in particular. I might even try out for it next time. I think my tail could make things quite streamlined, or I could use it to block out any errors I make on the somersaults.

Although, my fur does go very curly when its wet, and I'm not sure the world is ready to see that.




These games are actually quite good fun, I guess these humans do have some good ideas. Maybe I'll go back to my roots and start some Woodlandympics with the rabbits and shrews. They do love a good volleyball match.

Good luck team GB, and also team Italy! And best wishes to everybody else too!
Lets go get some chocolate coin necklaces! Yayyyyyyyyy!


                                                              

Thursday, 26 July 2012

Fox on a teacup

When we went to Wales, in Corris by the Labyrinth there is a little collection of shops where you can dip candles, engrave wood, watch glass-blowing and paint your own ceramics! So Laura painted a picture of me onto an espresso cup! (She must really love me). They had to spend a couple of days firing and glazing it, so they said they'd send them to our homes when it was ready - and it arrived yesterday! Yay!