Scaring Laura

RRRRRAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!

Did that scare you? That was my BEST monster impression. I did it to Laura yesterday to wake her up but she wasn't very impressed.

"Why did you do that, Fox?" You ask.

WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

The other day Laura did something REALLY mean to me.

I was buttering my toast in the kitchen and as I went to go and put the peanut butter away, she leapt out from behind the door with a big: "RAAARRRRRR!"

It scared me so much I threw the peanut butter up into the air, and when I tried to catch it, it landed on my paw and my paw got stuck in the jar, all gooey and peanutty and buttery.

SO I decided yesterday to plot my revenge. I decided to scare her back to teach her a lesson.

And what's the best way to scare somebody?

Dress up as something scary!

I rummaged around in my basket for a good costume but, disappointingly, I couldn't find very much in there. So I decided to find something in Laura's room.

She says I should ask before I borrow things, but I think as she was downstairs making tea I couldn't possibly do that... It would be rude of me to interrupt her. So out of politeness, I left her to it and went searching for good costumes.

I sat on the floor and tapped my chin. I thought about dressing up like a spider (because there is nothing scarier than a spider) but there are so many legs I think I would trip over. And then a much better idea hit me. I was watching a program about animals on TV the other day, and there were some zebras that kept running away from a lion who, by the looks of things, just wanted to play stuck in the mud. But those zebras weren't having any of it. So lions must be VERY scary!

I leapt up very excitedly and started hunting around for a lion costume.

Laura draws stuff a lot, so I thought the best place to start would be to look in her box of drawing things, and I found myself a pair of scissors. The first step was making something to make my fur a more lion-ish colour. Maybe like a jumper. I've never made one before but I'm sure it's not that hard. So I cut a little hole in her curtains, which are the perfect lion-ish colour.

I tried to make the hole as neat as possible, so that it was soooooo subtle she wouldn't even notice it was there. So to make it its very neatest, I kept going over the edges to trim the jaggedy bits -  but unfortunately it kept getting bigger and bigger  and I didn't realise how much bigger until there was more window than curtain. Oh well, they say painters like to have 'natural light' to paint in - and now she has loads!

The next thing I needed was a big fluffy mane. I looked at a can of hairspray and wondered if that might be quite useful to fluff up my fur - but after sampling a bit on my paw the fur came out all crunchy and weird - so that wouldn't do.

But THEN I saw the duffle coat! And WOW! What a big, beautiful, fluffy hood it has!
I poised with my scissors and wondered if Laura would mind. I looked out of the curtain to see what the weather was like and... Yup. Nice and sunny.

"There's no rain," I nodded, "She won't need her hood."

*

After a lot of time gluing and cutting, I sewed everything together. And by sew, I mean I used the stapler because it is A LOT quicker and more efficient.

I cut out a big rectangle and two smaller rectangles of curtain and put them together to make a beautiful jumper. It was so beautiful actually, that I might look into the jumper-stapling business to open a stapled-jumper shop.

Then I stapled together either end of the fluff from the duffle coat, and slipped it over my head. I even snipped off an extra chunk of coat fluff for a lion-tail.

Now at this point I started to get a bit confused as to what a lion's tail looks like, so I had to draw myself a diagram of a lion to check...

AND THEN, looking at my very factual picture, I realised my tail is far too poofy for me to be taken seriously as a lion. I considered using some celotape to wrap around my tail to flatten it down, but then realised that might be a bit sore to get off. SO, I wrapped a generous supply of toilet roll around it instead and stapled the bit of coat fluff onto the paper at the end.

Assessing my diagram again, It looked like the only thing left to do now was the ears. I have pointy ears and lions have round ears. This was a bit of a problem because, I don't know if you know this, but its quite hard to change your ears.

I looked at the scissors and thought back to the celotape, and knew that these were both VERY bad ideas. Instead, I rummaged in Laura's laundry bag, and found two pegs  - so I clipped down the pointy ear bits with those.

I looked in the mirror, and held up my diagram...

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.


I think it looked so professional that Laura would be quite confused as to why there's a lion in her house.

I waited for the sound of the key in the door, and then in 3, 2, 1...