Cor, it's been such a busy few weeks - I feel rushed off my paws!
I guess the news of the moment is the Queen's Diamond Jubilee! 60 or so years ruling the country, Laura tells me. I find that quite fascinating - I wonder how she got the job.What kind of experience do you need for something like that? Did she needed GSCE's to apply? Personally, I'm quite the whizz at conquering monopoly and cluedo, maybe that qualifies.
Either way, I think she's quite sweet - I rather like this whole royal family thing and how the rest of our country all unites together to celebrate it. There were so many Union Jack flags and so much bunting hung everywhere, it was wonderfully patriotic - warms the ol' heart, it does.
I remember a few years ago, when I was just a cub, Laura took me to her Auntie's house where they were having a street party. They lived in a little close (incidentally, imaginatively entitled 'Little Close'), and all the neighbors joined together for a sunny BBQ. It was wonderful! Everybody uniting for a rare little event like that.
There were so many things going on this year too - concerts, more street parties, fairs, and the Queen had a nice little ride up a river on a boat. Unfortunately, the weather was absolutely dire - I've never seen so much rain! What happened to all the beautiful weather? One thing England really needs to work on, I think.
So, because of the dreary grey skies, we stayed in and watched 'Come Dine with Me' instead.
It was a corker of an episode. But, with the dull weather outside and the comforting crackles of a fireplace, I found myself slipping into a patriotic daydream...
The Queen tries to stifle a yawn, feeling the day dragging a little as they chug along on the royal boat up the Thames, when, all of a sudden William taps her excitedly on the shoulder and says in a cool tone, trying to conceal his excitement:
"He's here."
The Queen's mouth twitches, trying to suppress a giant grin itching to stretch across her cheeks as she turns to greet her valiant guest; and here, enter an animal with freshly brushed, silky red fur matching the deep scarlet of the velvet decorating the boat. Sparkles sprinkling from the diamond encrusted collar decorating his neck - glittering from the light as the sun escapes from the clouds to greet this awaited presence.
The crowds cheer as, I, Fox, trot regally across the boat, manners intact as I bow courteously to my adoring public, approaching the lady in question.
"Her Majesty", I breathe, curtsying and kissing her hand as I lower, "It is an honour to make your acquaintance."
She giggles, a rosy blush filling her cheeks as she replies dreamily: "Oh Fox, the pleasure is all mine..."
The crowd reaches an uproar as we lock in a courteous, but tight embrace and have a good old cuddle. My tail sweeps out from behind me, swaying joyously in the moment...
And swings unintentionally into the path of an approaching butler, sending him falling...
Sending his tray of champagne flying onto her majesty's dress...
Who stumbles backwards into a guard...
Who falls backwards into the river.
The water feels very realistic as the droplets fly from the gigantic splash, but oddly, only my tail appears to get wet...
"FOX!!"
Laura's voice sweeps through my pondering and I blink rapidly, adjusting back to the sofa, a diamond-less neck, and the Come Dine With Me credits fluttering across the TV screen.
I looked at Laura in confusion; "What?!"
"Your tail is in my glass of water, you ninny!"
Ah yes, just another wonderfully regal day in the life of Fox..
